Registration for April’s Collage Studio Practice is open—classes start next week. Join us online or in person.
The following is an essay I read at Powell’s Books SmallPressPallooza last weekend. Leading up to it, I didn’t realize what an honor it would be to read at the world of books. I was already nervous enough.
I was invited by Kevin Sampsell at the suggestion of Antiquated Future’s Joshua James Amberson, to celebrate my zine, The Boring Guide to Staying Inspired. This essay is not in that zine, but definitely falls under the category of suggestion #3: find your people.
I am sharing the recording of the reading free for all. The essay follows.
making it through
We meet on a Saturday. It is nearly spring, and the ground is wet. Grey light seeps into the kitchen where we share snacks poured into small ceramic dishes. Tea steeps in a spherical steel pot, polished and reflecting our distorted faces back to us, enlarged monster faces framed by kitchen appliances. We share hat shaped gummy candy that hints at an indistinct berry flavor and stains our tongues blue. We have planned this for weeks, a collaborative collage project becomes an excuse for snacks and stories.
We bring tools and paper. We cut and glue to keep our hands busy as we talk.
•••
I go dancing. Alone. I arrive early but there is already a line at the bar. The dance floor shakes and pops with waves of bodies. Dancers are paired or in small groups, leaving space for newcomers. Sprinkled throughout the crowd are a few individuals dancing alone. I am not the only one.
The DJ is passionate and knowledgeable, lifting the needle to let the record cycle, buzzing patiently as she talks about the singers she features: fiery Eartha Kitt, persistent Elsa Soares, whose careers were stifled by racism and scandal because they were outspoken and unapologetic. The DJ speaks quickly, an emotional and informed dialect that echos late 90s hardcore shows. In this era, a friend once said of a bandmate: when he removes his glasses that’s when you know it was about to get serious. The DJ wipes her face and gets serious. The floor erupts; a riot of emotion.
•••
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